Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Randomize
