It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
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