just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
