My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize