Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
