I just pynch a tree in the face
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
