But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Randomize
