Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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