Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
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