I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
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found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
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I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
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