i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
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