sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Randomize