How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Randomize
