Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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