He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
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I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
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You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
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