I need help removing her.
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
