would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Randomize
