I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Randomize