That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
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