I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
