Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
this is an emotional support booty call
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
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