We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
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