Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
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