This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Randomize
