whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Randomize