walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
You're like the curious george of whores
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
Randomize