all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Randomize