Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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