Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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