we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
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Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
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I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
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