it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
You pole danced in your parka.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
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