3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize
