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he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
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