she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize
