we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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