I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
