Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
