And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
