My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
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