dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Randomize
