I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
