If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
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