He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
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