I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize