So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
