Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
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