I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Randomize
