ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Randomize
