Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
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