He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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