i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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