you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
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