The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
home. puking in laundry basket.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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