btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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