I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
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He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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