I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
