apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Randomize
