Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
