I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
Randomize
