I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
it's great music for shaving your balls
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
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