I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
