The maid of honor just puked.
Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
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We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
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I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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