My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
sex in a hospital.. check
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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